Tuesday, March 22, 2011

High heels, I miss you

So back in December (December 14, to be precise) I had foot surgery on my right foot. I had a bone spur on my heel that was pretty large and causing me pain every day. The medical term for this is Haglunds Deformity. The unofficial name is Pump Bump (apparently closed back shoes rubbing up and down can be one cause). The only solution was surgery. Of course my bone spur was larger than the average bear which involved the surgeon peeling back my Achilles tendon to shave it down and then replacing the tendon by anchoring it with some sort of device that looks really cool on an x-ray. Because of the added tendon issue, the recovery process was longer and suckier. I couldn't put any weight on my right foot (this also meant no driving) for a month. I was in a cast for two of these weeks which meant adventures with showers (think sitting on a trash can with my right leg hanging over the edge of the tub). After two weeks the cumbersome cast came off, the stitches came out and I was rocking what looked like a giant gray ski boot for the next several months. After a month of no bearing weight my right calf looked like a wet noodle. Now, as a former fattie you'd think this would excite me but I'd like two skinny legs, please. Not just one. I had to remember how to walk after a month of crutching it around. I started physical therapy which helped a lot because at this point, I was pretty much unable to move my foot. It was so swollen that I had a Hillary Rodham Clinton cankle. This is conjunction with the wet noodle calf was not a good look. I've pretty much resumed normal activity at this point but I still have pain every day (umm, wasn't the point of surgery to get rid of the pain?), I am still unable to go down stairs, I walk with a gangsta limp (I honestly cannot remember how to walk without one), and my right calf is still partially limp noodle while my foot is still bloated like a corpse. Oh, and the biggest thing to mention is that I haven't worn my beloved high heels in months now. My doctor wants me to wear a small heel. I mean, do they make such a thing? That's cute, I mean? His idea of a small heel is a sneaker. A flat is too flat, no support. I've tried finding a pair of comfortable, everyday, cute shoes with a small heel but it's impossible. Also, did I mention the shoe needs to have a back. I was told my foot is too weak to wear a backless shoe. I'm just so over this whole situation. Can you tell?